Falling down

This quote...I've always loved it.  I've given it on cards to friends.  I have written it in my journal.  But there's also been something about it.  I want it to say that taking risks is part of life.  It's part of living.


And you don't ALWAYS fall down.  Sometimes, the risks you take have immediate rewards.  




Sometimes, you make yourself uncomfortable and reach out to a new person.  
And you end up with a friend.

Once in a while, you attempt to do something you thought you could not.  

But you can. 

A scary opportunity comes your way, and you run towards it instead of away.  
And it makes you happy.    

You decide to trust someone with your heart, and it is justified.  

Taking risks is part of life.  It's part of living.  The leap of faith is scary...If you fall, get back up.  But you might not even stumble when you land on the other side.  Either way, find your stride and run towards the next daring adventure.  

There.  That's better.  

Shadow of a Doubt

Cast a Shadow Snowshoe Race Report
You are warned...I write too many words...
Saturday, February 7th, 2015

Saturday was the 10th running of Goose Adventure Racing's Cast a Shadow Race.  This crew puts on a solid set of races, and CAS is no exception. The format?  A 6 hour race.  There are relay teams and a solo division.  If Punxsutawny Phil doesn't see his shadow, only laps that are complete before the 6 hour mark count.  If he does...tadah!!  Any lap that starts BEFORE the 6 hours counts.  As long as you finish it.

Danielle and I after the 2014 relay.

Last year, I did the relay with friends Jenn Mullen and Danielle Snyder.  Our team was "First Step is a Doozy!"  And it was.  We had a fine time freezing and heating up and sweating and changing clothes and eating.  That's what happens in a winter relay, right?  I remember looking at the solo
racers and thinking...those people are nuts.  7 people completed a marathon or more.  What? (P.S. I like crazy).

When I laid out my plan for 2015, there was no hesitation, I'd do the solo division of Cast a Shadow.  And my goal would be a marathon.  Because who doesn't do a marathon?  In February.  On snowshoes?  Going into the race, I had a terrible 15 mile run in one back pocket, and a great 18 mile run in the other.  18 miles.  My longest ever on trails.  Hmm.  The week of the race, snow fell.  And fell.  My goal of 26.2 or more...hmmm.  My left hip flexor hurt.  Why, oh WHY did I tell ANYONE my quiet goal of a marathon? Hmm.

Night before the race...4 boys in my house, didn't go to sleep until 2am.  I woke up at 6 to register for ANOTHER snowshoe race.  Good lord.  I would run for longer than I slept.  Shit.

I had put my goal into writing to my friend Mort.  An average 12 minute pace.  45 total minutes of rest, sock changes, potty stops.  Sounded reasonable.  Race day text:  "how do you feel about knee deep snow?"  Great.  Freakin' great.  At least Phil has seen his shadow...extra time for me!

ALL of these people passed me.  Photo:  Ron Heerkens, Jr.

The race began at 2pm.  Light snow fell as we lined up at the start...well, no one really lined up at the start.  NO ONE.  Hell.  Someone should.  So, Robin, Mike M and I moved up.

Here's the start...See all those people behind me?  They all passed me.  That's okay.  I looked really good for Ron's camera for 12 meters or so.

Getting some motivation.  Photo Credit:  Ron Heerkens, Jr

Each loop was...2.3 miles?  Or so?  I don't know.  It didn't matter.  The temperature was good, the snow stopped.  People were happy.  Chatting.  At the end of loop 1, I gave the crew some entertainment.  Falling up the hill.  And AGAIN on loop 2.  I took another racer down with me.  Couldn't let her pass me while I was down, right?  I stopped every loop.  Got high fives.

Took some water, some calories every so often.  Changed my socks...They were sopping wet.  Blah.


2 hours in, 10 miles.


Somewhere around loop 5, the little gaiters I wore started to shred.  And bounce around.  Fill up with snow.  And get tight.  Efff.  This became some stupid thing to focus on.  My pebble.


Each loop, I stopped and adjusted them like 92 times.  No kidding.

Photo Credit: John Greene

Loop 8?, and we had to put our headlamps on.  I put mine on my head.  But didn't turn it on.

When I tried, it didn't TURN ON.  Perfect. Progressively darker on that loop, I stumbled, got mad.  Frustrated.  Deer darted in front of me, jacking my heart rate up.  I fell down, 3 times that loop.
When people passed me, I gratefully stepped aside.

4 hours in, 19 miles.  More than I'd ever run on trails!

That was not the case Saturday.
Snowshoes do not look good

Sometime after that, I had my moment with the damn gaiters.  I *might* have overreacted.  I ripped them off in a panic.  Well, halfway off.  THESE were the things that were slowing me down, not my tired legs.  Get them OFF.   Luckily, someone came to my aid, saved me from the evil things.

The rest of the Roads are Poison team, the other racers, friends who came out to watch, Ron the super photographer.  They saved me, too.  One helped me dress, one was on the course all 6 hours.  The others cheered and encouraged.

su-weet!!

Around 5 hours in, I figured it out.  I was going to make it.  I passed Greg, and asked "Is this damn thing over yet?"  "No", was all he said.  I told him then, though, that I was going to hit 26.2  I was at 24 and change.  I couldn't wait to see him on the next loop.

At 5:58, I let out a rebel yell (I DID go to school in New Orleans).  I stopped and made a snow angel at 26.2 miles.  I had done it!!  Crap.  I was still more than a mile from 'home'.  No matter.  I ran the last mile in slowly, but happily.  I saw Greg for the 17th time (or so), and shuffled in.  Every step I took set a new distance record for me.

Humble to be part of this group...several folks did 30 miles!!
The rest of us did 27.5 ish.  Whoohoo!

There were several times I did not think I was going to make it.  Before the race.  And especially during the hours in the dark.  You can prepare and plan.  But inevitably, doubt will creep in.  The people you have around you that believe in you, they know the truth.  But you cannot see it until it's done.  And it was done.

My Garmin said this...I set no land speed records, for sure.  But I achieved my goal.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this was one of my favorite days.  I got to spend hours with friends, outdoors, being challenged to keep moving forward toward perceived limits.

Happy Turtle

Midway through last year, I declared (to ALL 4 people that were listening) that 2015 was to be The Year of the Trails.   I wanted a change.  Was I burnt from triathlon?  No, not really.  It's not like was training at top intensity all the time.  I was doing fine, racing pretty well.  I completed my second iron distance tri.  But I did desire something new.  I wasn't quite a Phil, but I wanted to be more Phoenix.

Trail butts at Lucien Morin

Metta and Nellie in the ADKs

As soon as Ironman Coeur d'Alene was complete, I took off my watch and switched my shoes.  I re-discovered the abundance of local parks on foot and on bike.  I took off the watch at first, and just ran. Through meadows and puddles, over hills and bridges.  Sometimes with friends, sometimes with just my dogs. Headlamps, traction, whatever.   

Getting off the road has made running feel new again.  I had lost motivation to get out and run. It had begun to feel like a chore.  And now, I take every chance to get out for a run on the trails.  I feel like a kid, playing in the woods.  Splashing across a creek.  Getting a little bit lost.   Made now Angels.  Had great conversations, deep and funny.  I have met more good people to call my friends.  Taken trips just to see new trails.  Explored places I wouldn't have gone.

Sunrise on the Crescent Trail

Not everything is perfect.  I'm slower than I used to be.  I know, you can't compare trail times to road paces.  But even compared to the trail runs I did a year ago, I'm much slower.  I'm afraid to get on the road with my speedy friends.  I still hurt myself...rolled ankles, sore muscles, strained hip flexors. Running takes a little more planning...sometimes a map, and I can't just walk out my door.  I fall down.  I definitely fall down.  

 

happy like this guy

But it's worth it.  

My Garmin tells me my pace is slower.

My head tells me I'm running for different reasons.
My full heart tells me I'm happy.

A happy turtle.

A happy trail turtle.

Irondequoit Bay

This year, I built a plan for my racing that started out with a 5K snowshoe and finishes up with a 50 mile trail run.  Everything on my calendar has dirt in it. Even for Seneca7, my team let me have the leg that goes off-road.  A dirty girl? That's right.  

Want to hit the trails?  There are many great options. #TrailsROC has weekly group runs and GREAT races all year. Medved hosts group trail runs in the spring, as well as an offroad race.  Goose Adventure Racing has an exciting race calendar.  Fleet Feet hosts many trail races and runs throught the year.  Finger Lakes Runners Club has a robust calendar, as well!  Come play in the dirt.  Be a happy trail turtle.

No need to go around the puddle.  

How long has this been here?

Reading This Makes Ewe Smart

Smart sheep make good stuff - SmartWool gear review I

I attended the Medved Winter Open House in December, where the theme of the day was "WE DON’T HIBERNATE!!”  There, the SmartWool tech rep  Brandon Lee talked about the heritage and technology that SmartWool is putting into their product lines.  Specifically, the PhD lineup.  This line is designed to keep you comfortable from head to heel in all kinds of conditions.  Brandon kept coming back to ’98.6’…meaning the pieces are all meant to keep your body temperature regulated and dry.  The wicking properties of wool are pretty amazing, too…I've come back with fuzzy ice on the outside of my shirt, but I’m comfortable on the inside.  Go Far.  Feel Good.

Don't be this guy

Last month, I published “My Favorite Things – Winter 2015 Edition”, where I picked three pieces of gear that I couldn't live without this season.  In addition, I've have worn at least one piece of SmartWool every single day for the past month. Why?  I am in love with this company.  From their socks to their sheep to their ethics.    So, here are three products I have put to the test.

1. The PhD Run Wind Tight (~$140)  To reiterate my love for these pants (they are one of my 3 favorite things this winter)…these tights incorporate windproof panels in the front to keep your muscles toasty.  The fabrics used are a blend of merino wool and synthetic fibers – taking advantage of the best of both worlds.    Read a little more here.  The details include reflective zippers at the ankle, as well as several other accents to keep you visible.  And the back pocket can hold my iPhone4 and my car key securely.  These tights are worth their price tag.  They really are.  I've worn them for at least 20 outside workouts, and I can’t complain about anything.

   

   Hill Repeats (AKA sledding)

2. The PhD NTS Light 195 Wind Zip Shirt (~$120)  SmartWool’s baselayer collection is classified by the weight of the fabric per square meter.  The 195 g/m2 is considered their ‘lightweight’ fabric.  It’s soft, stretchy, and conformable.  Then, add the cute patterned wind panel in the front and you've got a really versatile piece.  I've worn it as a base layer under a windproof jacket for colder days (we've had a lot of them!), and alone on days 25 deg+.  The zipper is large enough to make a difference, so you can cool down when things heat up. 

   

   This is NOT me.  I just couldn't find anyone
   to take my picture at 5am this morning!!!

3. 3)      The PhD HyFi Training Headband (~$30)  Unless it’s REALLY cold, I tend to prefer headbands over hats.  My other headbands are all fleece…and while warm, don’t stay in place very well, and tend to get sweaty.  Also, my ponytail can go wherever it wants!  So, this piece has gotten a lot of play.  It’s snug but doesn't make my eyes pop out, and keeps my ears warm.  Also, it prevents that stupid mark I’d otherwise get from my head lamp on morning runs.  Vanity. 

   

   sporting the HyFi at Frozen Assets (Photo:  Ron Heerkens, Jr)

These three pieces all get an A rating from me.  And while the SmartWool pieces may cost more, I think they earn their keep in my collection.  

Adventure Awaits...Get Lost!

Simple Pleasures

Simple Pleasures

Recently, on a cold, windy, craptastic day, I skipped my workout, ate poorly, and proceeded to beat myself up about a few things.  It was a Phil day.  Definitely not a phoenix day.  I sat at my soul-crushing cubicle (yes, I was feeling that dramatic) and saw my coffee cup. 

So.  What.  But it was a coffee cup given to me by a friend.  And it was filled with coffee that Bob made for me that morning.  From a French press (which is the best way to make coffee)  that I use because that’s how my mom makes coffee.  Coffee that conjures memories of time with my sisters, my track-biatches, my friends. 

And then I told myself to get over myself.  And I did.  I posted on Facebook a single question: “What simple pleasure will keep you sane today?”

My answer was good coffee in a fancy up and polka dots.  

Seriously.  That is what I found pleasure in at that moment. 

More than two dozen other responses filtered in…

Zappa…putting away Christmas things…running…eating chicken pot pie…looking at the snow…talking with friends…sharing a cup of coffee. 

A quote that I like came to mind throughout that day.   Life doesn't have to be perfect.  Some days suck.  But there are moments when you can decide to see simple pleasures around you for what they are.  Little gifts that you can accept. 

Want a cup of coffee?

Are you Phil or the Phoenix?

Every morning.  No matter if you want it or not.  A new day starts.  Sometimes, it feels like you’re stuck reliving the same crap you went through the day before.  And sometimes, it’s a new beginning.  Which is it today?  What will it be tomorrow?

I’ve gone through times in my life, like most people, when I have felt like  Phil Connors in Groundhog Day.  

When you don’t want to get out of bed.  

You don’t want to go to work.  

It seems like there’s really no point.  

The same stupid things will happen.   

You will get to the end of the day and feel like nothing really changed.  

don't let the rodent set your direction

And then, you go to bed knowing what it will feel like in the morning.  Crazy like Bill Murray’s hair.  As stupid as letting Punxsutawney Phil drive your car. 

For me, thankfully, those times haven’t last long.  I feel bad that it generally takes me a while to identify that I've fallen apart, and my family and friends around me have been picking up the pieces for me.  Thanks to good people and good medicine, usually, I've been able to get out of my own way.  

burnt out, or burn up?

Then, there are the days when I wake up and I know that I can leave yesterday behind.  Because I am the bird instead of the rodent.  Do you have those days?  The days where you know you can redefine yourself if you want.

The legend of the phoenix is pretty compelling. The phoenix dies by fire, in most stories.  It is reborn from the ashes of it's former self. This is how the beginning of a day should feel.  It's the reason that I feel compelled to wait for the sun to rise and kindle the fire within me. So I can burn up and start again.    

I admire those around me who have redefined themselves. They have gotten burnt out in a bad cycle, but also burned up like the legend of the phoenix.  They set a new direction for themselves.  A friend left the corporate world and started her own business.  My sister followed a dream and moved overseas.  Another got out of a relationship that was destroying her family.  Left a job that sucked.  And on and on.  

Tomorrow, February 2nd is Groundhog Day.  When you wake up, will you be Phil, or will you be the phoenix?  Either way, it is what you do each day that matters most.  If you do the same things, you'll feel like Phil.  If you choose to rise up and attack the day, you can be the phoenix.